Ask Kytka Archives: May 16, 2001
I believe that inner work is very necessary and that we are continuously growing. We are faced with challenges and hurdles to overcome because that is what makes us better ourselves. I feel as much a “student” as my children are and I am eager to wake each new day to see what information and experiences it holds.
As a parent-teacher, we must seek the balance and interweaving of thinking, feeling and willing in ourselves.
In the Heart – the loom of Feeling,
In the Head – the light of Thinking,
In the Limbs – the strength of Will
Weaving of radiant Light,
Strength of the Weaving,
Light of the surging Strength;
Lo, this is Man!
~ Rudolf Steiner, Ecce Homo
“Everything that adults do makes an impression on the child’s soul. These impressions work their way into the child’s breathing, circulation and metabolism and can affect that child’s health in later life.”
Rudolf Steiner said: “We learn to know individual human beings in every way when we perceive them in the light of spiritual science. We even learn to perceive the child this way. Little by little we come to respect, or value, in the child the peculiarity or enigmatic quality, of the individuality; we also learn how an individual must be treated in life, because spiritual science doesn’t merely provide general, theoretical directions. It guides us in our relationship to the individual in the solving of the questions we need to solve. Such solutions require that we love the individual as we must, otherwise we merely fathom others with the mind. We must allow the other to work upon us completely. We must let spiritual scientific insight give wings to our feelings of love. That is the only proper soil that will yield true, fruitful, genuine human love; it is the basis from which we discover what we must look for as the innermost kernel in each individual.”
Take note of how you are sitting at the computer right now… are you sitting up straight or are you hunched over. Stay comfortable but raise your shoulders, elongate your neck to hold your hear high instead of allowing it to just sit upon your shoulders. Raise your chest as well. This immediately opens your breathing and allows you to take in more air. Breathe….
Take a moment to think about the people you love. Did you let them know today how important they are in your life? Did you tell them that you LOVE them? You should. Right now…
Think about each and every thing you are thankful for. Hold the thought in your mind. Remember it when you lay in bed tonight and go over your “list” a few times. Aren’t you so blessed? There are so many things to be thankful for! Going to be with this though will bring a better sleep and dreams and you will awaken feeling refreshed and revitalized.
When you wake up tomorrow morning, stand and walk tall. Look at yourself in the mirror and see the person you WANT to be. Spend the day walking around with the belief that you are this person! Watch your posture. Is your head held high? Are you breathing properly? Feel the power of this posture and how well you feel at the end of the day. Include this feeling as one of the things you are grateful for!
Take a break. The dishes, the laundry, even the lessons can wait for a day. Take your children outside and wonder at the beauty of nature. Walk barefoot. Climb a tree with them. Swing, don’t just push them… Be a child for a day. Be their friend for a day. Make a picnic and spend the afternoon laying on the grass watching the clouds slowly drift by. Squat down or sit so you are at your child’s level and look deep into their eyes. Tell them how blessed you feel that they chose you to be the Mommy! Hug and kiss and tickle and play with your child. Your child needs physical affection and thrives on it. Remember, that is what attachment parenting is all about – no matter if your child is a teen. Hug and hold your child! In the evening take stock of the beautiful day and think about how grateful you are for the moment.
Be less serious. Laugh a little… no, laugh a LOT. Remember that laughter is the best medicine. Be silly, be funny, allow your child to be silly! You child needs to see you laugh and play too, and you’ll feel better!
Finally, get off the computer and live a real life with your child. Come back to this after they are asleep if you wish, but don’t take the magic away from their day by closing yourself in the computer room… My sister recently told me that her friend friend had her husband make up a sign which he hung on her computer screen. This sign read “Do you know that your children are GROWING UP behind your back?”. These powerful words, staring at her from the computer screen made her realize the truth and she now limits her time to after the children’s bedtime.
In Reiki, we are taught that all of us have the ability to tap into the universal life flow. When you become attuned to Reiki, you open up channels to allow this life force energy to flow THROUGH you. It is constant and ever present, it is all around us at all times, when you channel this energy, and it flows through you you can do wonderful things. It deals with opening your Chakras, understanding the flow of energy, etc. but the bottom line is that in a way you are “detached” because you are using the energy which is flowing through the world and NOT using the energy which is in you.
You do not go away feeling depleted, but rather refreshed and invigorated.
Let me share something that I strongly believe: Next to the power of the universe and it’s life flow, the power of thought is the most powerful “tool” we humans have been given. We need to keep our thoughts positive and focused on what we HOPE to become. You become what you think about. Everything in the world us THOUGHT MANIFESTED.
The mindset you have is what will cause you to feel drained or to feel refreshed. When I get burned out – and it almost always coincides with the times they get all wound up and “trouble making” (lots of energy flowing without an outlet) we go outside and talk to the earth.
This ALWAYS seems to center and bring them back into balance. I feel myself getting agitated because they are no longer playing creatively and they just get into that too much energy but unfocused play where they will end up being destructive, too rough, negative, etc… I stand up and say something like “oh, I feel some strange energy in the house right now” then I look at my watch “have we been inside all of this time?” I start to quickly clean up whatever I am doing and I head outside… They model and follow. Outside I begin to talk to the earth, the trees, the birds, the flowers…
“Oh little flowers, I could feel you calling me outside. It’s much to dark in the house and the air is not as fresh as it is out here. Thank you for reminding me to come and look at your beauty. What a lovely shade of violet you have become. Have many butterflies and bees come calling today? What’s that? The tree needs a hug? My goodness, I will hug the tree! I like to hug all of the trees because they help my body to breathe! I feel better when I hug the tree too because I know that the tree is my brother. In spirit, all of my great great grandmothers and fathers who have passed away, and who were buried in the earth became a part of this wise old tree… This tree holds the secrets of the generations and I am blessed that I have strong arms to give the tree a great big hug. Oooohhh. can you smell the moss today? It smells like it’s growing, the heavy raid yesterday must have really saturated the moss. (kneeling) Oh my goodness, look at all of the little rollie-pollies which have moved under here – pick it up gently, this is their new home….”
Each and every time I do this my children do a complete turn around from the afternoon energy and come straight into balance.
In Reiki, we work to become grounded and I think what happens in the afternoon is that we tend to come apart and “float” our energies. All we really need is to ground ourselves again. Walking barefoot on the grass and or hugging a tree really does the trick in my family. It’s quick, it’s simple and it brings us back into a calm center, always. As a matter of fact, I cannot recall a time when this didn’t work.
The mother sings to her sleeping baby: “I’ll love you forever / I’ll love you for always / As long as I’m living / My baby you’ll be.” She still sings the same song when her baby has turned into a fractious 2-year-old, a slovenly 9-year-old, and then a raucous teen. So far so ordinary–but this is one persistent lady. When her son grows up and leaves home, she takes to driving across town with a ladder on the car roof, climbing through her grown son’s window, and rocking the sleeping man in the same way. Then, inevitably, the day comes when she’s too old and sick to hold him, and the roles are at last reversed.
Taking the time for mindful parenting:
Being mindful of everyday events can make a big difference in your child’s life….
As the parents of three children and experts on stress reduction, childbirth, and eco-issues (to name a few), this lovely couple has the ability and experience it takes to beautifully author this gentle book. Attached parents everywhere will deeply appreciate the support and encouragement for sharing a family bed, nursing toddlers, and lovingly respecting and responding to children’s needs. Every time I open this book I find refreshing insight that helps me maintain my gentle mothering focus and remember that my days of early parenting are indeed swiftly passing by. Thank you, Myla and Jon, for this permanent record of loving, attuned parenting that I pray my own child will someday joyfully follow.
Below are some of my personal favorite links and articles, where I like to browse after all are asleep and feed and nourish my inner me.
Reiki for Children: Using Healing Touch and Raw Foods to Tap into the Power of the Universe is published on demand. Ordering direct from the publisher will assure you much faster delivery. You will pay the same list price as when ordering through any on-line bookstore, but it will double my royalty if you order direct. (You know I’d like that). Your order will be shipped to you via UPS. To order directly from the publisher, see link at right.